Funny Pick Up Lines

We have scoured the internet to bring you the funniest pick up lines.  Find below a few hundred funny pick up lines!

  • Ask a woman for the time. “10:30? So today is January 10,1999, at 10:30 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you.”
  • Guy: What’s your name? Girl: Danielle Guy: Oh… I thought it was Aphrodite.
  • Good news, the test results are negative!
  • Why do you have to be so damn fine every single day? Can’t you take a break and let me concentrate on something else for a change?

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  • Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
  • Ever since I met you, you’ve lived in my heart without paying any rent.
  • Would buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the glass.
  • When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
  • If you were a booger I’d pick you first.
  • I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
  • If you were ice cream and I were hot chocolate I’d pour all my love onto you.
  • Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say, “I’m not really this tall….I’m sitting on my wallet.”
  • You are not a woman, you are an essence
  • Does my breath smell okay?
  • Your eyes have touched my soul
  • Ok, I’m here, what do you want for your next wish?
  • I’ve seen till I gazed into your eyes
  • Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call fine print
  • That’s a nice watch [Thank you] Actually, that’s a nice dress. [Again, thank you] Come to think of it, everything is nice on you.
  • I have a cat. She would really like to meet you.
  • Excuse me miss… Do you have a cigarette? Actually, I don’t want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.
  • He: You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? He: Twice.
  • If water were beauty you’d be the ocean.
  • What would you do if I kissed you right now?
  • Excuse me, is that your perfume that you are wearing?
  • Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only lovers will leave a footprint on your heart. And you my dear have left one great leap on mine!
  • Hey, haven’t I seen you before? I remember, it was in my dreams!
  • You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book … So what’s one more??
  • Nice to meet you, I’m (your name) and you are…gorgeous!
  • Hey, don’t I know you? Yeah, you’re the girl/guy with the beautiful smile.
  • If beauty were sunlight, you’d shine from a million light-years away.
  • You are the hottest thing since sunburn.
  • Woman, I hate to see you go, but I LOVE watching you leave….
  • I dropped a tear in the ocean, the day I find it is the day I’ll stop loving you.
  • Can i get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist?
  • Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?
  • Say, didn’t we go to different schools together?
  • Hi, I’m Batman. Wanna see my batmobile?
  • Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.
  • You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
  • Oooh, you’re lookin’ fine. Not in the good way, in the “you’ll do” way.
  • Was you Father an Alien? Cos honey on planet earth there’s nothing else like you!
  • You look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!
  • Does Levi’s pay you for wearing those and looking that good?
  • Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.
  • If God made anything more pretty, I’m sure he’d keep it for himself.
  • The only thing your eyes haven’t told me about you is your name.
  • Baby, you’re the next contestant in the game of love.
  • Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he’s missing an angel!
  • I saw you, I had an asthma attack because you took my breath away!
  • What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
  • I tried to find the perfect line to make you mine, sweetheart, but after searching all I could come up with was this look in my eyes and your hand in mine, and the words, will you be mine?
  • Are you a tamale? ‘Cause you’re hot.
  • You’ve got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
  • You’re like a dictionary – you add meaning to my life!
  • I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
  • Hi. Are you cute?
  • It’s always good for you to see me again.
  • Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?
  • Baby, you’re so sweet, you put Hershey’s outta business.
  • Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
  • I must be a snowflake, ‘cuz I’ve fallen for you.
  • Hey, somebody farted. Let’s get out of here.
  • Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven’t seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you’ve really changed! (I’m not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!
  • Grab them in the butt and ask, “Pardon me, is this seat taken?”
  • I envy your lipstick.
  • You must be going to hell cause it must be a sin to look that good.
  • A song from your lips is an aria from heaven.
  • You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
  • Oh no, I’m choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
  • May I have the distinguished honor and privilege of sitting next to you?
  • Hey, come here often? You could, with me.
  • You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I’M cute.
  • I never thought that heaven would be so close to me”
  • Do you have room in your life for another friend?
  • If a star fell for every time i thought of you, the sky would be empty.
  • Excuse me miss? You dropped something back there? (As you look around you ask “where”) Over there! (Ask again: “What did I drop?”) He answers back: My jaw!
  • Who’s your daddy?
  • It must be a day off in heaven for an angel like you to be amongst us.
  • Excuse me miss, I don’t mean to stare, but um I think you’re really Beautiful”
  • Excuse me, I’m looking for a friend…do you want to be my friend?
  • There aren’t enough “O”‘s in the word “smooth” to describe how smooth you are.
  • Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I’ve been searching for!
  • What sort of person are you looking? Wait- don’t tell me: medium height, blue eyes, etc…
  • You are a 9.9999. You’d be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
  • My psychiatrist sent me for an MRI because she thinks I have a magnetic personality.
  • Got me? I’ll do your body good.
  • I’m invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
  • If beauty were a grain of sand, you’d be a million beaches.
  • (Close hand with nothing inside and give it to her) It’s my breath from when you took it away (open palm while saying this).
  • You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.
  • Oh my god, I thought I was gay… then I met you.
  • You look like a big glass of water and I sure am thirsty!
  • When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor…so I’m going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
  • What time do you have to be back in heaven?
  • If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.
  • It must be dark outside. ‘Cause all the sunshine in the world is right here.
  • If I could be anything I’d be a tear: Born in your eye, live on your cheek, and die at your lips.
  • If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be McGorgeous.
  • Man: excuse me did you just feel my ass? Girl: no you: why not?
  • Really like your peaches and I wanna shake your tree.
  • You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
  • Good evening. May a thorn sit down amongst the roses?
  • What is your first name? Hmm, that goes kinda well with my last name. (switch if female asking a male)
  • Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?
  • You MUST have a nice personality.
  • Walk up to a guy/girl hold up a $100 (or more if you’re desperate) dollar bill and rip it in half in front of his/her face write your phone number on half of it and hand it to them. Then say, “how about you call me tomorrow and we’ll figure out a way to spend this money?”
  • Are you a parking ticket? You got fine written all over you.
  • If you were a laser, you’d be set on “stunning”.
  • You are so sweet…I’m getting a toothache just looking at you…
  • Does your watch have a second hand? I want to know how long it took for me to fall in love with you.
  • Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess(or prince) like you.
  • What is your favorite color? (Answer) Mine too!
  • (While looking at stars) Baby, I didn’t see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was sitting right next to me.
  • Pull my finger.
  • Hey, I lost my phone number … Can I have yours?
  • I’m looking for a friend…Is that baby oil on your forehead? Cause you shine like an angel.
  • My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
  • Is your daddy a thief? ["No."] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes? [Be ready with a snappy answer in case they say "yes."]
  • Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
  • Excuse me, I’d like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.
  • As she’s leaving….Hey aren’t you forgetting something? She: What? Me!
  • Don’t walk into that building — the sprinklers might go off!
  • You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
  • Hey, don’t frown – you’ll never know who might be falling in love with your smile.
  • Do you know karate? ‘Cause your body is really kickin’.
  • Your daddy must be a terrorist, because baby- you da bomb!
  • You are a beautiful girl, you have probably heard all the great pick up lines, so why dont’ you just tell me the ones that worked so we can get past all that….?”
  • Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?
  • Great choice of clothes, they match the trim in the Jag
  • Excuse me, I don’t want you to think I’m ridiculous or anything, but you are the most gorgeous girl/guy I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.
  • I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
  • Smile if you want me!.
  • Is your name Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get
  • You’re ugly but you intrigue me.
  • Guy: Can i see your hand? (he draws a little river then a bunny on one side and says he can’t get to the other side because he will go glub glub glub.) Gal: What was the point of that? Guy : Just wanted an excuse to hold your hand.
  • Man:”Girl, you are so rude!” Girl:”How am I being rude?” Man:”Because you’re looking so fine and not telling me you’re name.”
  • When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.
  • Excuse me, but did you happen to find my Nobel Peace Prize?
  • No, but how about a kiss anyway?
  • I don’t know you, but I think I love you already.
  • I’m addicted to yes, and I’m allergic to no. So what’s it gonna be?
  • Hi, my name’s Right…Mr. Right.
  • You’re so hot you would make the devil sweat.
  • Coffee? Tea? Me?
  • Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
  • Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
  • Did you have Campbell’s soup today? (she answers yes/no) Because you’re lookin’ mmm… mmm… good!
  • So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?
  • My name is {name}. I’m running for president in 2012. And I could sure use your vote. Here…write down your number and I’ll call you to discuss my platform.
  • It’s not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
  • It’s my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? [Is it really your birthday?]
  • I think I feel like Richard Gere – I’m standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
  • If you know a person’s name: “Hi, [name].” How did you know my name? “Isn’t every beautiful girl named that?”
  • Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
  • What’s your sign?
  • You’ve been a bad girl/boy. Go to my room.
  • You look just like my mother.
  • (Walk over to her)”Ok, you can stand next to me, as long as you don’t talk about it.”
  • Please don’t go or else I will have to make a report to the cops….u stole my heart
  • Don’t you know me from somewhere?
  • Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
  • When’s our wedding date?
  • You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!
  • I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
  • I have only three months to live.
  • Man, you sure are bright girl! Were you raised by the stars?
  • I think I must be dying because I’m looking at Heaven.
  • I’m feeling kind of insecure right now. Could I have a hug?
  • If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
  • What’s a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like What’s that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it’s not coming off!
  • All this could be yours for one low, low price!
  • You’re hotter than a Bunsen burner set to full power!
  • I think my medication is wearing off.
  • I must be in heaven because I’m standing next to you!
  • Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it’s just a sparkle.
  • Guy: Did I see u somewhere? Girl: No Guy: Then I must of seen you in my dreams! (works everytime)
  • [Look at his/her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?", say "Checking to see if you were made in heaven."
  • Baby did you fart, ’cause you blow me away!
  • You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look really bad.
  • You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.
  • What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
  • Walk up and say, “Yes?” “What?” “Oh, my friend told me that you wanted to make out with me because I’m the finest thing you have seen all night.”
  • I think you’ve got something in your eye. Oh never mind, it’s just a sparkle.
  • I’ve gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.
  • You Say: Looks like we’re late.” She Says: “For what?” You Say: “For dinner. Your choice this time, I’m buying.”
  • What’s the name of your perfume? “Catch of the Day?
  • You remind me of a pop tart. (Why?) You’re cool cause you’re hot!
  • Hi, I’m a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?
  • When God made you, he was showing off.
  • Can I domesticate you?
  • Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!
  • I’ve been noticing you not noticing me.
  • Man: “Would you like to dance?” Woman:(looks at you up and down) “No thank you.” Man: “Sorry, you must’ve misunderstood me. I said: “you look fat in those pants!”
  • Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
  • Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
  • If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.
  • Your dad must have been retarded, ‘cuz you are special.
  • You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
  • When you look into the mirror holding up a dozen roses, you see the 13 most beautiful things in the world
  • Your earrings are the mirrors which reflect the moonlight into your eyes
  • You look beautiful today, just like every other day.
  • If you were a library book, I would check you out.
  • Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
  • Champaign can be tickly, and so can I.

Please add to the list of funny pick up lines in the comments!

About Funny Pick Up Lines

We asked a woman to write about what they think about funny pick up lines, the following is what she wrote:

One of the best ways to start a conversation is with good pickup lines. Yes, there are many pick up lines out there. One can get a whole bunch of them online on dedicated pick up line websites. One can also find pickup lines in books and novels and magazines. Most people do not realise that it is easier to seduce woman than to buy a hooker.

Seduction is the name of the game and women prefer to be seduced and flattered and they are more than willing to allow the guys to flatter them. Most women prefer to be flattered and they are more comfortable with guys who chose to strike up a conversation than just hit on them with a pickup line hoping to get laid. Women do not think sex is the motive but for them it is love and seduction. They love to be chatted up by guys and more importantly by guys who show emotion and prefer to connect with the opposite sex emotionally.

Funny pick up lines work great to break the ice. They are particular useful when trying to strike a conversation. Funny one-liners or pick up lines are great conversation starters. They are even useful to stoke passion but slowly and in a more subtle manner. While romantic pickup lines are great to incite romance and the feeling of passion and possible a physical relationship, funny pickup lines make for a great way to converse and take in the conversation one-step at a time. They ensure the woman does not feel insulted. She does not feel out of place. Funny pick up lines make sure the woman is not offended. Of course, this means that the funny pick up should not be offensive or sexual in nature. In fact, women take offense easily especially when they want their man to chat them up. Funny pickup lines are more open-ended and they initiate a conversation. Here the girl too has an opportunity to respond and reply and not just giggle or laugh. Sometimes instead of using a cheesy pickup line, one can even start off with a funny opener. It could even be a funny question. The girl will probably laugh and giggle but may also respond and before you know it, the two of you are getting it on in the back alley. It is good to be original and natural. However, it is also good to remember a few openers and pickup lines that can serve you well. Construct a few original ones and the girls will love your originality.

Funny questions too work brilliantly when approaching a woman or a group and singling out the one you want to chat up. Pick up lines are great chat up lines. In fact the best pickup lines are natural. They are original. When a woman hasn’t heard a pickup line anywhere but knows it is a pick up line will be so much more interesting in know more about the guy. More importantly, she will be willing to converse and partake in interactions with the man and will be willing to share her feelings, and emotions with the man. Using funny pickup lines works best in any environment. It is all about the situation. The situation warrants a pickup line. And if it is original it is a winner. And most women appreciate originality and not stupid or lame pickup lines. Stupid pickup lines are great to discuss with drunken friends who will trash all random stupid pickup lines said by mankind.

Funny sexual pick up lines are best avoided. Making sexual jokes is not going to get you anywhere. Sexual jokes may misfire as woman do not exactly like to talk sex in their first meeting unless they are in for the same but how often does that happen? The problem is that most people thinking logically. The men think that if they talk about sex, women will think about sex. If women think about sex, they will want to have sex. When they think and talk about sex, the sex will be great and well, it will be the best night of the guy’s life. Unfortunately, women do not think like that and they are not very good at imagining sex on their first time. The way to a woman is through emotions. Emotions help break the ice with women and it works with all women.

Women love to gossip and that is no secret. Men gossip even more and that is no secret either. Being an ear to their gossip is a great way to not only get to know the woman you like but also get in the good books of her friends. Listening is the key to many great conversations. Nevertheless, before you are allowed to listen you should also conjure up the courage to ask the woman out or at least strike up a conversation. Funny pickup lines come in handy in such a situation. These pickup lines could be original and natural. However, one can also look at popular TV shows and soap operas to draw inspiration. While copying lines from such places is a strict no-no, sometimes it helps to strike a conversation all too familiar. For instance, picking out a line from a popular sitcom TV show centered in a coffee shop can help strike up a conversation with a pretty young lady who will probably relate to the pickup line. While you are not being original, you are being natural. The pickup line suits the situation and more importantly is a perfect for the type of woman you are hitting on. It suits the mood and suits the place. It is best to be used only here and most probably the woman will laugh. But she will also be interested. You made an effort to strike up a conversation and more importantly went to great lengths to relate the situation to a TV show, which will be all too familiar even for her.

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